How do I parallel parking?

"sm70- why not Duesenberg?" (sm70-whynotduesenberg)
10/03/2014 at 23:16 • Filed to: buick

Tonight is the eve of Yom Kippur, the Jewish holiday of repenting for sins. I hope that the sin of horrible, horrible parallel parking is the worst sin the driver of this Buick LaSomething committed all year. If so, they're a much better person than me. I sat there, watching in my rear-view mirror as the pulled up behind me on the left side (the Pilot wasn't there yet, there was nothing behind them), looked around, then turned the wheel sharply to the right and got the front of their car vaguely behind mine. A little stupid, considering they had the length of a football field to pull in straight. And then they just left it. They got out and walked inside. They didn't park, so much as they simply stopped driving. They weren't even a million and two years old.

So, to recap, this parking job was done by someone who had absolutely no one behind them, and could've easily gotten to the curb by simply pulling forward. No complicated reversing or even scary wheel-turning necessary. Brilliant.

DISCUSSION (15)

Vimto > sm70- why not Duesenberg?
10/03/2014 at 23:19

Going to be honest, living in FL I didn't have to parallel park for my driving test, so I have never learned. The thought of having to parallel park my Grand Marquis is scary.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Vimto
10/03/2014 at 23:21

But I'm guessing even you can pull up alongside a curb given 150 feet.

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > sm70- why not Duesenberg?
10/03/2014 at 23:22

If driving the Uplander I just assault the curb violently, usually over top it, and manage the parallel park with one turn. If the Stringbean it's a little more accurate but bit more cautious - though plenty of 1st gear rumblings are necessary

Your boy, BJR > sm70- why not Duesenberg?
10/03/2014 at 23:23

lol parellel Parking ain't no thing.

I've killed people.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > Vimto
10/03/2014 at 23:23

Colorado Doesnt require it either. I asked my driving instructor to teach me, I also asked him to teach me how to drive downtown in the city with one way streets.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Your boy, BJR
10/03/2014 at 23:24

Kinja'd!!!

For Sweden > sm70- why not Duesenberg?
10/03/2014 at 23:26

Parallel parking is but goyim trickery. Don't fall prey to it.

Nibby > sm70- why not Duesenberg?
10/03/2014 at 23:27

Parallel parking isn't that bad.

Then again, I drive a lot in NYC so I kinda have to know how to parallel park.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Vimto
10/03/2014 at 23:28

Yep, didn't have to in Alabama either. Still, it's a pretty easy concept when you get into a situation that you have to.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > For Sweden
10/03/2014 at 23:28

Do that, and pretty soon they'll fool you into other such things like using a turn signal and keeping right except to pass. You can't trust them/us.

Rico > sm70- why not Duesenberg?
10/03/2014 at 23:29

Damn that's pretty bad. I've seen a parking job similar to that here in the Bronx when I was on my way to work, when I came home from work I saw the same car with it's side mirror hanging on by a wire.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Rico
10/03/2014 at 23:29

Angry bike messenger would be my guess.

Ravey Mayvey Slurpee Surprise > Nibby
10/04/2014 at 00:15

Necessary skills for NYC:

1. Parallel Parking
2. Hand-to-hand close quarters combat
3. Knowledge of curse words in at least four different languages
4. Contempt for those who aren't from New York

ly2v8-Brian > Your boy, BJR
10/04/2014 at 00:35

Kinja'd!!!

promoted by the color red > sm70- why not Duesenberg?
10/04/2014 at 03:42

I live and work in San Francisco. Parallel parking is something I do ten thousand times a day as part of my job (right next to parking illegally) and it's basically muscle memory now. So I was kinda sad when I saw a manual Jetta TDI Sportswagon take up TWO spaces (there are defined lines on the ground). YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ON OUR SIDE!